UPDATE! It wasn’t the Kindle but the charger. Weird, because that charger still works on my phone. But I’ve got my Kindle back. Squeee!!!
My dearest Kindle,
This is one of the hardest letters I’ve ever had to write. I don’t know how things went so terribly wrong between us. All of those heartfelt moments of joy, sorrow, excitement, and even (gasp) a few shades of pleasure–did those feelings we shared mean nothing to you? I have tried to reason with you. I’ve charged you for several days now, and your battery remains low, cool, aloof. How could you do such a thing, Kindle?
Your betrayal has forced me back into the arms of my old flame, paperback books. And even though the pleasure I glean from them doesn’t yield quite so many emotions, at least paperbacks are reliable, unlike you, fickle Kindle. I should also tell you that I almost cut my finger twice last night on the hard and unforgiving edges of my paper book. All of this could have been avoided, Kindle, hadn’t you betrayed my trust.
It seems like it was only yesterday (actually last week) that we were laughing at that poor woman trying to read her Nook underneath the harsh rays of the afternoon sun while we were waiting for our children after school. My ereader did not have a glare as I enjoyed unobstructed reading pleasure. We shared a good laugh that day, didn’t we Kindle?
I have been a good reader to you, haven’t I? I’ve read you nearly every day, sometimes for hours at a time. I even bought you that special case to keep you protected from the cluttered and often unpredictable elements of my purse. And this is what I get in return for my loyalty? Stuck at four percent for the past two days?
I am hurt, saddened, disappointed, angry and bloated. But my PMS has nothing to do with this. I just thought you should know.
My friends have told me I simply need to call Amazon and they will replace my Kindle. And even though I hate the notion of giving you up, and of reloading all of those books back onto my new ereader, this relationship simply isn’t working. And so it is with great sadness, that I must tell you goodbye, dear Kindle. And though your betrayal pains me (in addition to my PMS), when I think of you, I will try to recall the fond memories we’ve shared.
Your loyal, yet hurt, saddened and disappointed, friend